Two sticks you can rub together.

Yes.

handing my friend a screwdriver

“You can use this for simple crafts and home repairs”

Me, backing away from the screwdriver in terror

“Nice try, but I know what that is. They use that thing to build the Space Shuttle.”

It is a fact that USB-C is superior.

The floating tang in the center of the USB-C receiver is a classic “planned obsolescence” design feature. Its built to fail and force you to buy a new device.

• Ask for per-task time tracking

• Get angry when you use round numbers in your time estimates, because “How could every task possibly take increments of five minutes?!”

• Get angry when you use arbitrary non-rounded time entries, because “How am I supposed to determine the average time it takes you to complete a task when there’s so much variance?!”

• Gets angry when you spend an hour every day filling out your fucking time cards, because “You’re not supposed to bill for that!”

• Gleefully accepts absolute garbage work that you just subcontracted to Fivr.

You will own nothing and be happy.

Unironically the future of capitalism, as it devolves into feudalism with more killer robots.

You’ve got the CEO (Absolute Monarch) who owns all the shit and you work on it in exchange for not being killed or deported. Maybe you get some treats from time to time. More likely, you just get someone from the PMC to tell you to pray more.

Humans in power are too egocentric to not be kept in check.

A handful of humans with the power to deliver unlimited genocide on their neighbors are hard to keep in check.

The idea that you could trust a corporation, any corporation, at its word is laughable on its face

We’re surrounded by corporate entities all trying to leech profit out of us.

It’s less a question of trust and more of information alternatives. When all you can hear is the din of advertisement, it’s difficult to chart a path through the racket.

You’re bound to get suckered by someone, eventually.

My whole library is wipped out

I assumed this was about an actual library and not some shmuck who got suckered into a thinly veiled rental service.

What’s the point of all that expensive hardware if they have no clue what to do with it

I mean, if you straight up don’t know how to use a computer at all then that’s fair. But I don’t think the suggestion is that you learn how to code before you learn how to work a mouse. Hell, the whole target audience for the joke is people who are already online.

Its a good litmus test for people who are genuinely interested versus people who just heard “Lern 2 Kode” from a hustler on YouTube and thought they could bullshit their way through it.

But also, you’ll notice the cartoon character getting handed a nice looking laptop and keyboard. How cool is that? A cartoonist handing you a few hundred dollars worth of hardware plus presumably an always-on internet connection. Imagine if everyone had those kinds of resources just tossed to them at the asking.

Rolling up and getting started is a great way to find some really sloppy ways to do some initially very fascinating tricks. Like, its not a terrible idea on its face.

But there’s a huge difference between learning some javascript tricks or python commands to macro with and professionally designing a full stack. Really depends on what you’re trying to accomplish.

Best thing in the world is a fresh faced young developer who is eager to learn everything you put in front of them. Worst thing in the world is someone who only half-knows how to code but thinks they can do a proper mobile app from first principles. Every time I see a mile of copypasta spaghetti code sitting inside a single oversized Main() function, I die inside.