Modify this to be less funny but relevant:

Ludwig Boltzmann, who spent much of his life studying statistical mechanics, died in 1906, by his own hand. Paul Ehrenfest, carrying on the work, died similarly in 1933. Now it is our turn to study statistical mechanics.

various obscure Indian Engineers have spent their lives learning shitty Business Software, just to make ends meet have created works to share that information and to line their own pockets. Now it’s your turn to learn shitty business software so that you can make ends meet.

I am desperately trying to get a new fucking client and fighting the urge to drink myself to death

not really.

One guarantees you X, and you can earn +y, scaleable to (not really) infinity

the other starts you at x and you lose -y until you reach zero (not really, minimum wage)

Your paycheck will reflect the same amount of money regardless — and if it doesn’t, you may want to find a better employer. 😅

bruh, the scenario you’re describing is meant to be “code shipped = bonus pay” not “code not shipped = less pay”

congrats wisened/enrichend early retirement one.

Hook me up, I work in outsourcing for salesforce and my current job has failed to find me a client for a while now.

They keep telling me it’s hard to find a client

bug ocurred randomly.

Fixed it by now btw.

someone’s not sharing the actual root cause.

Instructions unclear, attempted to learn JS

I work salesforce adjacent, the desire to scream FIGMA NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTS every time I get one of these mails, or have to not laugh when they mention it in meetings is too much

you have to program a meeting that reoccurs between DST observant & non observant states in the US and australia.

Good luck.

So , why is toughening up not an option for you?

Ok, and do the people who are offended/hurt/affected by the user of “master” not finding your desire to continue using master toxic?

Why is it toxic?

Whatever ma’am, go name the branch at work a racial slur, I don’t care

Don’t get me wrong, there are many terms we should adjust. I just can’t see how “master” is one of them.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master–slave_(technology)

here you go!

no but bro, the code complexity tool says that this scope has 14 complexity instead of 13, we gotta cram it in a single ternary for code legibility

reproduction 101

ah ok , I think I write this a bit more verbose when using other languages, instead of

if(thing)
{
   stuff;
}

I do

if(thing != null)
{
   stuff;
}

so checking for numbers being truthy & existing didn’t seem like an issue

Falsy zero? What’s wrong with that, 1 is true and 0 is false. I thought that was standard logic?

I am forced to try to get a JS certification.

I am reaching the end of my rope, and starting to think of maybe putting my neck into one.

Isaac Newton said that we see far because we stand on the shoulders of giants.

Javascript is like standing on the shoulders of dwarves with brittle bone disease.

NaN is of type number. because fuck me.